Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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