mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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