just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
