stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
