it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
