Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
