well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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