I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Holy shit dude........stairs
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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