I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
3 2 1 whiskey
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
