it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
