the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Randomize
