I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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