So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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