3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
