I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
