Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
