It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
