She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize