brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
