but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
