I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
