It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
