The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
