adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Come share oat with me in your robe
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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