She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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