so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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