So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
