He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
