Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
True strength comes from lack of pants
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
