Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
