What did we do last night that was yellow?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
