Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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