I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
