He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize