He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize