Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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