I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
