Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
