What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
