Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize