whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
