New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
