Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Randomize
