somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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