i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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