I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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