Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
babies were throwing up all over the place
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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