I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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