why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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