Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
we should paint friendship bongs
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