btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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