He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
