your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
