I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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