cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
