He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
