No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
