are you still at the devil's house?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
