I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize