I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
