Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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