So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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