I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
