Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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