I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
