Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
