Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize