When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
