He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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