if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize