It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's rum buckets o'clock
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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